We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
