woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
