We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
