so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
