Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize