afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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