Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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