Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
