You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
