Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize