Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
