Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
If I die, sorry about rent.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
