you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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