summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize