tell your sister to shave her snatch
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
