the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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