I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
