I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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