I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
