Me too!
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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