How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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