Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
