i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
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