I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
