she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize