did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
