Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize