the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
