I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It's no shave November. This is our time.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
