I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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