How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I smell like Dick and happiness
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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