I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
