just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
