the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I need mimosas to revive my soul
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
