im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
