you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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