I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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