TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
