I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
How naked do you want me to be?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
