I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
