Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
