There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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