Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize