i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
