After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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