we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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