Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
