hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
