we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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