One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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