Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Help. Why am I so naked?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
