It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
