Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
