if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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