Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize