Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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