if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize