drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize