i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
