ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
