I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm too high and old for this...
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
