Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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